Today if I could order a serving of amnesia, and have all of my memories of who I think I am, and who all of my friends think I am and all of the laim validations of what made me the woman I am today, perhaps that would help me to not be influenced by social status and fashion ever again. 

I would decide that I’ve always been the kind of woman that never ever compared herself with other women.

I would just decide that I was always in love with my life, and pretend that my life was exactly the way I dreamed my life would be from the time I was nine.

‘Check please’.

Andrea.

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Womensville.com ~ a social networking sight for women looking for love, divorce alternatives, dating and relationship tips. Speaking to the greatness found in all women and seeking out the best case scenario is the mission of womensville.

Thank you Marci Shimoff for joining Womensville Radio. Thank you for sharing yourself with us so intimately. I really loved your story of forgiveness that you shared about you and your sister. Sharing how to “Love for no reason” is a profound message that I hope women will be touched by as I was.” Host of Womensville Radio, Andrea MacLeod.

Womensville.com A social networking site for women looking for love, dating advice, parenting support, personal coaching and divorce alternatives.

Marci Shimoff (Shy-Moff) is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and a world-renowned transformation teacher. As an expert on happiness, success, and unconditional love, Marci has inspired millions of people around the globe, sharing her breakthrough methods for personal fulfillment and professional success. Her newest book, Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love is brand new out right now. In it, Marci introduces a revolutionary program to live in a deep and lasting state of love and shows you how to access that at any time and in any circumstance. Marci’s other books include the runaway bestseller, Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out and six titles in the phenomenally successful Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul series. Her books have sold more than 14 million copies worldwide in 33 languages, have topped all of the major bestseller lists, and have been on the New York Times bestseller list for a total of 118 weeks. Marci is one of the bestselling female nonfiction authors of all time. Marci is the also the host of the national PBS television special called Happy for No Reason. In addition, she’s a featured teacher in the international film and book sensation, The Secret. Marci is a professional speaker and a leading expert on happiness, success, and unconditional love. She is dedicated to helping people live more empowered and joy-filled lives. Please join me in welcoming to our show today, Marci Shimoff. (after the interview) To learn more about Marci, please visit her website www.TheLoveBook.com

Divorced? Don’t be too hard on yourself. No woman walks down the isle thinking, “O.K, so 7 years from now, I’m going to leave, my kids are going to live with me two weeks a month, and the man I’m about to marry is not going to be making his child support payments.”

Sometimes the worst case scenario happens (sometimes because too often we focus on that) but what’s done is done. I have personally met women who two years or more after divorcing their husbands and splitting up the kids and a life of hell, they get back together. I’ve seen couples get back together and recreate the relationship and it is nothing short of miraculous. I used to think this was quite unique, but now there are more and more women who are tapping into enlightenment and encouraging their girlfriends to join them. In doing that, women’s social circles see reconsiling things with your ex husband as socially acceptable. 

 Obviously there’s something huge for the children to gain from this besides the fact that their parents are back together but also they get to see how the two worked things out, and can be included in why everything happened the way it did, and that mom and dad just needed time to work things out.

Now for those of you who cringe at this thought, don’t worry,  you too can give your child many gifts from the unfortunate breakdown of your marriage. You may think I’m going to say that showing them you are happy in your next relationship or marriage would be it, but that comes only second to what I’m going to say. The best gift you can give to your children is to have a successful and productive relationship with your ex husband. No badmouthing. No blaming. Always being courteous and kind. Smile at him and laugh with him. Show your children that you have the character to be able to go your separate ways because it was what had to be done, and that you care enough about your children for them to witness that their parents are mature enough to still get along.

The relationship you have with your ex, reveals the truth about your character. Even if he is a complete freak, you can emit forgiveness, cooperativeness and pleasant communication. It doesn’t matter how good your relationship is with your new husband. You and your ex will always be the parents of your children and that is the relationship they will model.

If you are looking for a way to shape your character, tap into enlightenment or make a difference in your community. Start with reconcilingthings with your ex.

Definition of Reconcile:

• end conflict: to solve a dispute or end a quarrel
•  to persuade somebody or yourself to accept that something undesirable cannot be changed.
• put people back on friendly terms: to bring two or more people back into a friendly relationship with each other 

You’ll be surprised at how reconsiling things with your ex, (whatever that looks like), will impact your life and your children’s future. You will give them skills that they need in life. You will show them how responsible you are. You just might save them from also becoming a product of divorce. You can do it. If you want to.

Womensville, a social networking site for women. Divorce alternatives, dating, relationship advice, women.

Hello friends.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the purpose of womensville. So that you will want to come back and mostly so that you can leave inspired and ready to put into action things that will truly impact and grow you, in your current relationships.

Here’s what I know;  after spending close to 22 years meeting every week with women. Women need each other. Even though we are some of the most capable and successful women in the world, we still need each other.

One of the tragic things about women is that they compete with each other, not for each other. If women could shift their competitive nature with each other, we could really change the world.

Women compete for status and image. Women, even the most successful have low self esteem, because there’s always another woman who has more of what they want. As soon as we loose touch with being in a state of gratitude, that’s when the villain of low self esteem pops in. (I talk about this in chapter four of my book).

I had the fortunate experience of finding a women’s group that was so committed to serving the community, that we had little time to compete with each other. Instead we competed for each other and all of our lives benefited.

There are very few opportunities for women to really support each other like that.

I just want you to know that I am that woman for you. All those women that fought for my success in my marriage, are the reason I’m still married today.(and happily I might add.)  I am that woman who will tell you what you don’t want to hear, and not worry about you not liking me any more. I am that woman who will love you all the way to success. I am that woman who will not sell out on you.

One of the reasons why women sell out on each other is we don’t want to loose our friends and we don’t want our friends talking badly about us behind our backs. And when tough love is present and it doesn’t land right, that’s exactly what is at stake for all of us.

Just to be clear. I’m here to;

• Support you in finding solutions to your relationship problems.
• Help you stay tapped into all of the reason’s you fell in love with your husband but may have forgotten.
• Give you hope that you are not alone and that right now, you can change your reality to more of what you want.
• Show you concrete examples of how to keep your level of self esteem high and authentic.
• Point you in the right direction of getting professional help if needed.
• Remind you, that you are perfect and loved right now, just the way you are.

I, Andrea MacLeod, promise that my mission is to support women to succeed in their relationships. My only motive is to love, support, guide and offer as much assistance and practical advice that I know works. I promise to confess if  I just don’t know  how to help you. I promise to be as authentic with you as possible so that you can trust me. I promise that what I offer you is based on the last 21 years of meeting with hundreds of women each week and is based on what I witnessed and have practiced myself.

 

Womensville. A social networking site for women.

 

Here are some of the topics that women just like you are talking about on the Womensville.com FORUM. You are welcome to comment on any of these. Be brave. Offer your voice and offer your own struggles. We are all women and we all know how it feels to be stuck. We also know how it feels to get unstuck. Success stories are always welcome! Your story could change the life of another.

•    How can I learn to trust myself more? by Dazed and Confused 
•    My friend is breaking my heart! by Martyr’s Friend 
•    TV and Computer Intake Challenge by Andrea MacLeod
•    As you stand in the light of success, be warned the minute you start focusing (at all) on your own needs, you will be whipped off the success track like one of those mass train derailments. I promise you this. by womensville 
• Fantasy: “I want to be able to tell him everything, that’s what real trust is in a relationship.” by womensville 
• Making decisions in your relationship is no place for your emotion filled fantasies. by womensville 
• Turning it around on a dime. Relationship Tension. by Andrea MacLeod
•  Is this a sign of infedelity? by Confused in BC 
• Does he have what it takes? by Lily  
•  Relationship Mentor by Lily  
•  Living Together by Lily 
• Marriage is Seasonal by womensville 
• Going to the next level by WhatToDo 
• It’s all about Perception Baby. He can and IS your Knight, right now. by Andrea MacLeod 
• I can’t take his negative attitude anymore. help! by VancouverGirl 
• Living with Grumpy…any help or opinions would be great! by Sunshine67
• 3 dates and you’re out – do I say so or not? 
• Sister, We Need To Talk by Lynnette 
• What’s Your Bliss? by womensville 
• Dating – when to narrow it down to one by Lily
• Feeling Frustrated by Tania C 
• I cheated on my husband by Girlie Girl 
• Learning about his terms or being walked over? by Lily  

Women need to express all the time. The mere act of expressing is often all a woman needs, to come to her senses and make the necessary changes to get the results she wants.

Sometimes women need to express and be related to, before we can believe that we are not alone and that our problem isn’t unique.

Womensville’s Forum is a place to express whatever is encumbering you.  Womensville.com will respond to all posts like this; We will assume you the reader/listener are already at a place of high self esteem. If the advice given  does not sit well for you ask yourself, “how would I respond to this if I were in a state of high self esteem?” Then decide if taking your self esteem level into your own hands is something you want to do, so that you can access results. This, my friend is what personal coaching is all about. We’re here to help you get results. REAL results.

Before you post something on the forum it will be helpful to you if you first decide if what you want and need is;

a) just a place to vent

b) seeking someone who can relate to you, so that you can access hope and  not feel alone.

c) needing a place to be right

d) ready to access the advice given by womensville, by taking responsibility for raising your level of self esteem, so that the advice can best reach you and give you the results you are looking for.

Womensville. A social networking site for women.

Picture this: You get up in the morning, it is a bright and beautiful day, and you are in a good mood because you got the sleep you needed. You get ready for work, turn on the news, perhaps read the headlines in the newspaper and then you walk over to your computer check your Facebook account or email. As you eat breakfast, you multi task trying to get the kids off to school. As you grab your car keys on the way out the door, you are feeling a little down, perhaps even starting to feel agitated or cranky – and you definitely have less energy.
Has that happened to you before? Ever wonder why or what you could do about it?
Here is something to consider. What was on the news? What was on your newsfeed in Facebook or in your email? Have you really taken a look at how many people are complaining out there? It is a mass epidemic! There appears to be less and less positive communication to feed our minds out there or so it would seem.
Actually, there is an abundance of positive communication and people out there than there is negative, it is a matter of “spring cleaning” the negative to allow the positive to grow and flourish. The negative things in our world don’t need much attention to grow like a bad weed in the garden. In fact even if you try to ignore the problem, it spreads until you decide to do something to remove it completely.
Now I know there are some things we think we can’t do to get rid of the negativity in the world, but really there are things you are in control of. Why not start by “spring cleaning” the complainers in your world?
Do you ever sit and watch your Facebook newsfeed? How many on there update their status messages with a complaint? Mr. Smith “has a headache”; Jane Doe says, “the noise is awful and the kids are screaming again”; Susan Dreamer writes, “I am soooo sick!”. And so on. Then, there are those that update frequently with many complaints. Sometimes, reading these will zap a little positive energy from you to the point that you can almost feel what they are complaining about and thus it starts to pull you down.
Watch and see how many actually are complaining on a regular basis; my guess is you will find more than you had thought would be there. Then choose to do some “spring cleaning” and hide them or de-friend them depending on what your relationship is. You can then monitor what happens to your energy and I will bet ten to one it goes up.
It is a small task, but one that has great power if you give it the room to grow in your world. You can start there and then move on to the bigger negative things in your world and remove those. This will make room for so much more sunshine, happiness and energy to bloom!

Special thanks to Lynnette for this contributioin.

Written by
Lynnette Vetsch, Director
Amaxa Coaching and Training Services
www.amaxa.org

Memories of that phrase come to mind as I watch the Icelandic Volcano erupt over and over again.  It is causing so much disruption in travel, the economy and on personal budgets too.   One volcano in a country so far away effecting things we do here right in Canada?   Wow, powerful isn’t it? 
That makes me think of Anger and how it can cause all sorts of issues, disrupt lives and be felt down the line from where it actually starts from.  Did you know Anger can be a by-product of other feelings that are lying underneath the surface and not being dealt with?  If not dealt with appropriately at that time, these feelings then sit there, bubbling away until one day – BOOM!!!! – there is a huge explosion that comes out of nowhere and leaves people wondering what the world just happened.
These feelings can be of sadness, feeling irritable or restless, fear, hurt, distant, jealous, confused, frustrated, inadequate, overwhelmed, resentful, guilt, ashamed, embarrassed, helpless, rejected… and the list goes on.  Feelings that at the time that they occur, are powerful within themselves, but if left unattended to will fizzle for a bit and bubble until they can overwhelm you into Anger.  It is important to go underneath your anger and discover what else lies there.
If this happens to you, ask yourself these questions:
Where did that come from?
What am I not seeing here?
What else am I feeling?
Is there anything I haven’t dealt with from previously that I may need to?
What have I been holding onto that may be ghosting here?
Have I eaten or drank water in the last little while (sometimes thirst or hunger can cause us to blow up when not intending to due to dehydration or low blood sugars)? 

The point here is to go beneath the surface and check it out. If these feelings are not dealt with and are constantly shoved under the rug, they will erupt sooner or later and most often under the disguise of Anger.

Lynnette Vetsch
Director
Amaxa Coaching and Training Services
http://www.amaxa.org/

Article by Lynnette Vetsch,

Director, Amaxa Coaching and Training Services.

www.amaxa.org.

Men Ogle While Women Have Eyes in the Back of Their  Heads.

Does it bug you that your man will turn his head faster than a rabbit being chased by a dog; almost causing himself whiplash when it comes to something that grabs his fancy? However you would never get caught while looking at some yummy piece of eye candy (and yes we all do it, not matter who we are – we are after all only human). How is that possible?  Is it because we are more sensitive to our partner’s feelings or is it because we are more refined in our behaviour as ladies?
Well it turns out that women have eyes in the back of their heads…well almost.  We, as women, have been blessed with not only having a greater variety of cones in our retinas than men; we also have a wider peripheral vision than they do. Our brain software allows us to receive an arc of at least 45 degrees of clear vision to each side of us and above and below our noses.  In many of us it can be as effective as up to 180 degrees!
A man’s eyes are larger than a woman’s and his brain configures his eyes for longer distances; basically a tunnel vision.  Thus it is as though he has a pair of binoculars built in and like binoculars he can basically only see what is in front of his eyes.
Our bodies have yet to catch up from our lives back in the caveman days.  Men had to be out hunting for food and thus be able to spot and pursue targets from a great distance.  Women as the “nest defenders” needed the greater peripheral vision for protecting the home from sneaky predators.
So ladies, please understand this information before you go ahead and try to send your man into the refrigerator or cupboards to find something that may not be directly in front of his vision.  

Lynnette Vetsch
Director
Amaxa Coaching and Training Services
www.amaxa.org

If there is someone that you feel has made a negative impact on your life, choose to let them off the hook. Forgiveness isn’t about them; it’s about releasing yourself from whatever has been encumbering YOU by not forgiving them.

Try this…

“So-and-so, you owe me nothing & I forgive you.”

For most of us, blaming someone else for our misery and poor choices satisfies the longing to be made right.

It takes a lot of courage to forgive someone, especially for the unforgiveable. Forgiveness can be done a number of ways. You could write it in a letter. Sharing that letter with a friend is very helpful, then either mail it or burn it, either work.

Simply writing out the statement, “____________, I forgive you for, “xyz”, you owe me nothing, and you are not responsible for me or my actions. I forgive you.” Then just leave it like that in your journal. You could write in a dozen names and forgive them all, and all will be forgiven, just by writing in your journal.

Perhaps it is time to pull up the Big Girl Panties and just do it!

A Social Networking Site For Women is what Womensville is all about.

After spending over 20 years meeting regularily with womens groups these seem to be the common issues that come up for women.Keep in mind most of these women I’ve been meeting with have been under observation for many many years, so I  have seen many common relationship problems, dilemas, challenges as well as celebrations and miracles. These are topics I would love to talk about if anyone has any questions about it.

“When everyone else says He’s not the one, but I know for sure he his.”

“We get home from holidays and it was the best thing we ever did. Within a week every thing’s gone to pot again. How can I make those ‘good feelings’ last?”

“As long as I keep busy,my relationship is in excellent shape. Denial vs. Purpose.”

“I used to like that about him, now I despise it.”

“How could we have been so happy for so long and now I can’t stand even looking at him?”

“So you’re leaving. My guess is, you’ve been planning your exit for at least the last 2-5 years.”

“For the amount of time that went into planning your exit, will require the same amount of planning to lead it back to being healed and transformed.”

If  you can relate to these topics please do post questions on the blog or send them to us and we’ll post them for you.

Here for you.

Andrea MacLeod,

Founder of Womensville.

WomensVille

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