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Stuck. Accidental or intentional?

We all know what it feels like to be stuck in our relationships. It’s when we know that ‘this or that’ particular ‘thing’ is never going to change. We are resigned to the years of trying to make things different, but alas here we are again. After a woman stays here long enough, she will slowly come to her senses and realize this is no way to live. The unfortunate part is that if she is married and has children, her leaving is no less a feeling than a death in the family.  For some strange reason women in North America think that quitting is an option. We think that there indeed are somethings that we will never be able to change, which is true. That being said, we have access to miracles every day. The miracle I’ve had happen to me was releasing my husband from blame and assuming 100% responsibility for all of the poor ways I’ve responded to his character defects. I now get to see that if ever I am thinking that someone else’s behavior is my problem, that is me intentionally victimizing myself. Look at me, I’m the victim here. eeeew. I have never felt so liberated in all my 17 years of marriage. I honestly thought that the wanker that lived inside my husband was the problem. I think I just might be scratching the surface on what it’s like to be enlightened,(dare I say?)  I honestly feel like the amount of love that I have inside of me, which is deep and wide, provided from God almighty himself, is literally oozing from my pours and I no longer seem to be blaming anyone for anything any more. No one owes me anything. I like that. I have nothing to prove because the truth is, the success of my marriage and relationships with my family and friends are all that really matter in my life. I love my life. I love the trees outside my living room windows. I even love this ugly old brown carpet.It keeps my feet warm. All those years I felt stuck in so many ways, mainly because I had to admit that I had no control over someone else’s behavior. And by my throwing my hands in the air with frustration, it gave me permission to respond less than who I wanted to be.  I love my husband, wanker and all.