Womensville Blog

I’ve grown, he hasn’t. I’m not the same woman.

Have you ever met a woman who was growing and changing and evolving leading eventually to divorce?

Emotionally, physically and spiritually she felt like she had outgrown her husband. Have you ever heard a woman say, “I feel like I’ve left him in the dust,” or “I’ve outgrown him,” or “I’ve changed so much, I’m not the woman he married.” This is a phenomenon that pulls women out of their marriages and gives them a false since of accomplishment because they can confidently stand in ‘being right.” Because they are right. She’s changed, he hasn’t. It is a fact. She is right.

Some women and men, care more about being right than they do about doing what works. I would urge all women,(and this is a reminder for myself too ladies) that when we go out into the community and contribute or take some courses or get a new job that inevitably grows our character, keep in mind that sharing that growth with your husband will contribute to his growth too! Its true try it!!!(I bet you don’t believe me)

If we grow and leave our husbands in the dust, then what we’re really doing is setting ourselves up for disaster and possibly divorce. I’ve been guilty of this. Keeping busy has been a way for me to cope with not having anything in common (or so I thought) with my husband besides our children. The most important thing a new wife can do is include her husband in everything she does, not necessarily physically but by sharing and showing him who she is, who she is becoming and all that she is learning. The only thing a husband needs in order to keep up the drive to please his wife is to make sure he knows who his wife is. The minute he doesn’t know her, is the minute he is confused about how to make her happy. A man who knows his wife, knows how to keep pleasing her. So lets start showing our husbands who their fantastic wives are. Be grateful that you have a lifestyle that allows you to go out and make a difference in the world. That allows you to develop your character. And most of all, use all that development as a way to successfully contribute the empire of your own family! Our families should be the very first people who get to access all of our skills and love. This is how legacies are made. This is what teaches our daughters how to thrive in and outside the home. If our Character development doesn’t improve the quality of our marriages at the same time as everything else you are doing, then there is something seriously wrong. Sometimes too much personal growth work can actually destroy a marriage, because it is an illusion that you are growing and breaking through barriers from your past. But if that growth doesn’t deepen your marriage at the same time, it’s a RED FLAG!
Openly exposing ourselves isn’t easy. Being honest with our husbands isn’t easy either.
Have all of your endeavors be a mission to first impact the quality of your family and then impact the quality of the rest of your life and you will experience what real success feels like. You won’t need to be right any more. You won’t have any desire to leave anyone in the dust. You’ll get a taste of reality and not have to get sucked into some fantasy.

WomensVille

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