Relationship Q&A

"I keep saying things, knowing it's going to cause damage.How do I control myself?"

“Sometimes I say to my husband, “Can I please press rewind and take that all back, I’m trying to change my evil ways.” He laughs and says OK. And then I literally get to respond to him in a way that works.

The opposite is unfortunately also true. When I am feeling bored, lonely or significantly unappreciated (which often means I’m giving for my own ego gratification and not because I want to be generous),I find myself slowly slipping down the slope of darkness and more evil stuff coming my way. Self doubt can be like a perpetual rollercoaster that spins out of control with a momentum that is unstoppable. I really don’t like my old evil ways. I like being kind, generous, thoughtful and patient. I like to be challenged and to have my character be shaped by difficult scenarios, most of the time.”

When in doubt, just tell him, “I’m trying to change my evil ways!” He’ll understand, and probably laugh at your female craziness.

When you need to let off some steam, because we all do. Call a woman who you know won’t say “What a jerk, you are so right…” Instead call a woman who will obey you when you say “Hi, Suzie, I need to vent. Will you just let me spout off and then ask me if there’s anything I need?”

Then, let ‘r rip!!

Let it all out and then thank the woman on the other end of the phone for listening.

Ask her if you can touch base with her tomorrow and fill her in on how things are going.

This gives you time to get back to a reasonable level of sanity, and by the second call you can start looking at what really happened that caused the blow up.